Blog Post

The Messages You Give Your Spouse by Not Treating Snoring

Dr. Jeffrey Haddad D.D.S. • Jul 01, 2020

One of the major problems with snoring is that it is a problem not just for the snorer, but for everyone who sleeps around them. If you are a snorer, you’ve probably experienced your spouse’s complaints about the loud, disturbing noises you make all night. These complaints are likely causing serious tension, especially now that neither of  you can get out of the house to get a break from each other.

But maybe you haven’t acted on those complaints yet. Guess what: if you’re ignoring your spouse’s complaints and making excuses for your snoring , you’re sending them some really negative messages that can destroy your relationship. Left untreated, snoring is not just a serious health problem, it can lead to divorce or domestic violence. It's important to understand just what you're saying to your spouse when you don't respond to their complaints. 

I Don’t Believe You

One of the things you are telling your spouse is that you don’t really believe what they’re saying about your snoring. You are putting your subjective experience ahead of theirs. You know you’re sleeping peacefully. You’re not waking up. How could you be snoring?

Trust is one of the most basic foundations of a relationship, and if you’re not getting treatment for your snoring, you’re essentially saying that you don’t trust them. You probably don’t actually believe that they’re lying, imagining the snoring, or taking the whole thing out of proportion, but that’s what you’re telling them.


Lack of trust in a relationship is one of the leading causes of divorce. Besides, saying you don't believe their complaint escalates the conflict by forcing them to offer you proof, like a recording. This type of confrontation makes tempers rise, and can lead to fights. 

I Don’t Care about You

Compassion is another basic foundation of your relationship. When they’re expressing pain and you’re ignoring their complaints, you’re essentially showing that you have no compassion about their pain. If you truly cared about their pain, you would get treatment.

And remember, sleep deprivation is often used as a form of torture. If your snoring is keeping your spouse awake and you’re unwilling to do anything about it, you’re essentially torturing your spouse. How could you condone the torture of someone you really care about?


A lack of caring or intimacy is another leading cause of divorce. Short of infidelity and money problems, it's probably the leading reason why people get divorced.

I Don’t Care about Me

Caring for yourself is also important to your relationship. If you don’t care about yourself, it diminishes you and your ability to participate in the relationship.With impacts on your emotional and physical ability to express love, snoring makes you less fit as a lover.  And if you really cared about yourself, you would respond to the potentially deadly complications of snoring.

If you’re not treating yourself properly, you may be diminishing the time you have to spend together, which is another way of saying that you don’t really want to be with them, after all. This is the equivalent of you rejecting their love.

You’re Not Worth the Trouble or Expense

Putting time and effort into making the relationship work is an expected part of being with someone. It doesn’t take much time, effort, or expense to get your snoring treated. The treatment essentially pays for itself when you factor in the possible expenses related to sleep apnea.

So what does it say when you are unwilling to put forth even the most minimal effort to help your spouse get better sleep and help you enjoy greater fitness and a longer life? This lack of effort on  your part undermines any gift or kind gesture you've made over the course of your relationship. 

Show Them You Care

It’s time to start listening to your spouse’s complaints. After all, it will make your house much quieter for everyone. It’ll end your snoring at night and her complaining about snoring during the day. And it will keep your spouse from resorting to taping your mouth shut at night. So it’s a win-win.


Best of all, it will help you work through many other issues. If neither of you is getting a full night's sleep, the sources of argument get magnified. Neither of you has the compassion or clarity of mind to discuss  your problems effectively. You might seem to be on the edge of divorce, until you really start working through your issues. Getting snoring treatment really can save your marriage. 

If you’d like to learn more about the benefits of snoring treatment for you and those you love, please call (248) 825-8277  today for an appointment with sleep dentist Dr. Jeffrey S. Haddad at the Michigan Center for TMJ & Sleep Wellness.

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